The Girl
by Smoochynose
Summary: Owen discovers that waiting for a six-year-old to get a lift back to her real time isn't as easy as it looks. Especially when that girl is Rose Tyler.


**-=- The Girl -=-**

Tosh hadn't said a word about it. She just sat at her computer and occasionally glanced over at what held the entire team's curiosity. Ianto hadn't said a word about it. He just looked at Jack with questioning eyes as he passed him a cup of coffee. Gwen hadn't said a word about it. She just gave Jack scathing looks, as if he had done the foulest thing in the word.

It was Owen who broke the silence. The cog-like door rolled open. He took one look and opened his mouth. "What the hell is she doing here?"

There was a little girl in The Hub. A blonde, six-year-old girl who was sat spinning on a swivel chair. She had been there since before all but Jack got to work that morning meaning that it had to be Jack's doing. Jack had brought an innocent little girl into Torchwood.

In Gwen's mind it was the most idiotic thing in the world. Torchwood was dangerous. It was no place for a little kid.

The girl stopped her previous spinning and leaned so far back that she was off the edge of the chair, her hair skimming the floor as she looked up at the now upside-down man. "Mummy says "hell" is a bad word," she said with wide eyes. "Does that mean you're a bad man?"

"What?" spluttered the medic, while his teammates sniggered. It was the first thing they had heard the girl say.

"Don't worry," Jack said to the girl without looking down from the paperwork in his hands, "He's not a bad man. He's just an idiot."

"Okay," the girl said with a shrug and resumed her previous spinning, while Owen once again bore the brunt of six-year-old induced humiliation.

"So Jack," Gwen said looking at the man with piercing eyes now that the elephant in the room had been adressed, "Why is there a child in The Hub?"

Without meaning to they all glanced back at the little girl, who was fascinated by the Pteranodon she had spotted, her wide eyes following Myfanwy's every move.

"She fell through the Rift," Jack said as way of explanation.

"Fuck," muttered Owen. Gwen slapped him over the head. "What?" he hissed.

"There's a child in The Hub. You can't swear."

"How are we going to get her home?" asked Ianto rationally.

"And what time period did she come from?" added Tosh.

"She's about fifteen or so years out of sync," explained Jack. "And I've got a friend coming who's capable of taking her back."

"But who is she?" demanded Gwen.

"An old friend," Jack replied vaguely, "though she's definitely not meant to be here."

"Jack," called the child excitedly. They all paused at the call though and glanced at the empty chair where the blonde should have been. Then up to where the call came from.

Owen swore again. Gwen rapped him over the back of the head with her hand despite the fact that the same curse was tumbling out from her own lips.

"This is fun," cried the girl, who was dangling from the bottom of Myfanwy high up in the ceiling of Torchwood.

Jack looked like he was going to have a heart attack. "Get down from there, Rose," shouted Jack.

The girl, Rose, seemed to realise something. "I don't know how." Then her face crumpled and she broke out in tears.

Ten minutes of panic, some barbeque sauce, and a packet of dark chocolate later, Rose was back on the ground looking the least worse for wear out of all of them for the ordeal. In fact, she looked surprisingly bright. "That was so fun," she chirped. "Can have another go?"

"No," Jack said a little too quickly.

The girl pouted. Heart strings were tugged on. "Please?" she begged. "Just a little go? Just one?"

"No," Jack repeated sternly, "It's too dangerous."

The girl's tongue poked through her teeth a little. "But you got to make gas masked zombies," she argued, "and they almost took over the world." The second part of the exclamation was met with lots of arm waving.

The team all looked at Jack incredulously. His eyes had widened as he looked at the child. "How do you know that?"

The girl shrugged. "Don't know," she murmered before she smiled brightly. "Do I get any of the chocolate?"

"Take it and behave."

The girl smiled, grabbed the packet, and ran off to the chair she had been sat on before. The team turned to Jack once they were sure that the girl wasn't going to get into trouble again. Gwen's eyebrow steadily rose and Jack knew what was coming next.

"Gas masked zombies, hmm?"

"It was a long time ago. The point is she shouldn't know about that. She hasn't experienced it yet."

"No," Owen said with a grin, "I want to know about these gas masked zombies. It seems the great Captain Jack Harkness isn't so infallible after all."

Jack massaged his temples to try to assuage the oncoming headache. 'Only Rose Tyler,' he thought, '_Only_ she could be such a menace at six years of age.'

"It was a long time ago and an easy mistake to make," he said evasively.

"An easy mistake that almost destroyed the world," prompted Ianto. Nobody noticed Tosh moving away from the group.

"Let it go," said Jack.

"Rose," said Tosh, getting the child's attention and by extension the team's. "How did Jack almost turn the world in zombies?"

The girl shrugged. "He was trying to con us."

Owen was smiling smugly like the cat that caught the canary and the pet mouse too, Jack looked like he was going to tape Rose's mouth shut, Ianto was staring at Jack to make him explain, Gwen had gone wide eyed, and Tosh was just amused.

"Who's us?" she continued.

"Me and the Doctor," a small blush coloured her cheeks and her tongue poked through her teeth again.

Jack grinned brightly. "Rose," he said with a voice that predicted future teasing on someone else's behalf, "Do you like the Doctor?"

The pink tint to her face deepened. "Uh huh. One day I'm going to marry him."

Jack looked like he had taken that canary and the mouse off Owen and to top it all off had caught a fish too. "Are you now?"

"Yep," she said, popping the 'p' at the end. "I'm going to marry him and we're going to live in the Tardis for ever and ever."

Not liking the fact that Jack's embarrassment was over, Owen steered the conversation back in a more enjoyable direction. "So what else has Jack done?"

Rose looked like she was thinking hard. "Something about deflowering Queen Bess whatever that means. Why did she even have a flower in the first place?"

The team stared at Jack incredulously, who shrugged. "What can I say? People love me."

"What else has Jack done?" asked Ianto.

"He got us arrested by people with four noses and six eyes."

"How?" asked Gwen."

"Don't tell them anything Rose."

Rose looked between Jack and the three eager faces, torn between what to do.

"I'll take away the chocolate."

The girl's eyes went wide.

"We'll buy you two new packets," bribed Owen.

"Don't listen to him. I'll give you three."

"Four."

"Five."

"I'll give you all the chocolate you could ever want."

Her hazel eyes probably reached the widest that they'd ever become. "All the chocolate that I'd ever want?"

"All the chocolate that you'd ever want," Owen agreed.

"And you'll take me to Barcelona?"

"And I'll take you to Barcelo-what!"

Jack laughed while Ianto, Tosh, and Gwen sniggered.

The girl shook her head. "It's Barcelona not Barcelowhat." She paused. "And I mean the planet not the city."

Jack laughed harder than ever while Owen looked lost. "Why do you want to go to a planet called Barcelona?" the doctor asked.

Rose shrugged. "They have dogs with no noses."

"There's no such thing as dogs with no noses."

"Are too."

"Are not."

"Are too."

"Are not."

"Too."

"Not."

"Too."

"Not." Owen by this point realised that he had descended into pointless arguing with a six-year-old and would be taking the mockery of the team for weeks to come. Rose's face scrunched up in anger and her foot met Owen's own with force. "Bugg-"

"Owen," snapped Gwen before he could finish the word.

"There are too," continued the blonde child, "The Doctor says so. So there." She finished off by sticking her tongue out at Owen.

"Why you l –"

Owen was cut off by the sound of Jack's mobile ringing. Jack smiled at the message. "Well Rose, looks like your ride is here. Ready to go home?"

The girl smiled. "Bye computer-lady, bye coffee-man, bye pretty-lady, bye stupid-head," she said, grabbing her coat and Jack's hand as she left The Hub. Owen bristled.

"Coffee-man," Ianto said with a smile, "I like the sound of that."

"I liked her," agreed Tosh.

"Well I didn't," muttered Owen.

"You don't like anything," replied Gwen.

-=- Two Days Later -=-

Tosh hadn't said a word about it. She just sat there with a grin on her face. Ianto hadn't said a word about it. He just watched and very now and again the corners of his lips would twitch out of the stoic mask he wore. Gwen hadn't said a word about it. She just kept breaking out into laughter instead.

It was Jack who broke the silence.

"I could have told you not to argue with her," he said with a smug smirk on his face, "She always wins."

Owen could have hit him.

Sitting on his desk in a box was a dog with no nose. A little card with resting on the side with 'Love Rose' scribbled in childish writing.

* * *

A/N: Thank you all for reading. Because so many are asking why Rose knows bits of her future, it's timey wimey stuff mixed in with the fact that she had the heart of the Tardis in her and the fact she's sitting on a big old rift in time and space, which her future self had a big role in. It'll wear off once she's returned to her own time.


End file.
